DIVORCE COACHING

What is a divorce coach?

A divorce coach is hired when:

• you are thinking about separation or divorce and are not sure what to do to move forward towards resolution

• you are in the beginning of the legal process and want to understand said process, how it will impact your family, whether you need a parenting plan, and how to formulate reasonable expectations

• you are in the stages following Final Judgment and need help with post-divorce adjustments, co-parenting with your ex-spouse, or communicating with your former spouse and their step-parents

• you need guidance in the context of a collaborative law case

Collaborative law cases are those where parties agree to work together collaboratively, each with their own attorney, to reach an agreement without going to Court. In fact, there is an agreement that neither party can go to Court to request court orders during the collaborative process. If the parties are unable to reach a resolution, then the party’s attorneys are barred from representing them in a subsequent court case. 

Divorce coaches are helpful in a collaborative law case because they help parties to figure out what is important to them and assist parties in working collaboratively with the other party at a lower rate than their attorney would charge. 

Divorce coaches are not a substitute for a therapist, tax or financial professional, or an attorney.

why do i need a divorce coach?

You need a divorce coach if: 

• You are not sure which issues in your situation are relevant to your separation/divorce

• You need help figuring out what you want and the steps to take to get what you want

• You and your spouse need improvement in communication techniques so that you can discuss the issues and not get into a disagreement. Your divorce coach can help you to identify what is important in the long run and help you to see that sticking to a long held position may not be the way to reach a resolution that addresses what you need rather than reaching for what you think you need.

• You and your spouse need tips on how to look forward to the Future and work towards finding a workable solution to the issues instead of being trapped in the pain of the past. This is especially important if there are children and there is the need to co-parent.

• You need help finding the right professionals (including choosing and/or working with your attorney) and other neutrals on your team in order to work effectively and efficiently to reach your resolutions, which often reduces time and expense.

WHAT DOES A DIVORCE COACH NOT DO?

Your Divorce coach is not a substitute for an attorney, a tax or financial professional, or a therapist.

• Your lawyer’s role is to make sure you know your legal rights and obligations and to help you understand the consequences of the decisions you make. A lawyer is your legal problem solver but they often spend hours discussing or dealing with the emotional aspects of divorce and you end up paying a huge legal bill. As your divorce coach, I will help you work with and alongside your attorney to make sure your needs, your interests, and your wishes are conveyed and effectively negotiated.

• Your tax or financial professional will tell you how the decisions you make affect your money, your financial life, and your tax consequences. As your divorce coach, I will help you with your budget, money management skills, and your communication with your financial professionals and attorney.

• Your therapist helps you examine your past history and patterns of relating that are affecting your relationships and preventing you from moving forward with your separation/divorce. A Divorce Coach is different from a therapist; coaching is specifically focused on separation/divorce related issues and concerns as they apply to you and your families’ future.

what are the benefits of a divorce coach?

The benefits include:

• Flexible scheduling for consultations

• Email availability

• Option of meetings in person, via Facetime, via Skype, or via Google Hangouts

• Neutral and objective assistance to help you come up with a plan reflecting your goals and need, needs which will be reviewed and revised on a regular basis with you

• Helps you manage the stress associated with going through a divorce

• Addresses co-parenting issues and new partner issues as they arise

• Acts as a member of your team of professionals (attorney, accountant and therapist) who is focused on helping you to navigate the process in an efficient and cost effective manner